The hard-working reporters at The Onion bring us news of the latest step in Google’s expansion effort.

Google has announced Google Purge, a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it can’t index.

“As a part of Purge’s first phase, executives will destroy all copyrighted materials that cannot be searched by Google.

“‘A year ago, Google offered to scan every book on the planet for its Google Print project. Now, they are promising to burn the rest,’ John Battelle wrote in his widely read ‘Searchblog.’ ‘Thanks to Google Purge, you’ll never have to worry that your search has missed some obscure book, because that book will no longer exist. And the same goes for movies, art, and music.’

“‘Book burning is just the beginning,’ said Google co-founder Larry Page. ‘This fall, we’ll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.’

. . . “Although Google executives are keeping many details about Google Purge under wraps, some analysts speculate that the categories of information Google will eventually index or destroy include handwritten correspondence, buried fossils, and private thoughts and feelings.

. . . “‘This announcement is a red flag,’ said Daniel Brandt, founder of ‘I certainly don’t want to accuse of them having bad intentions. But this campaign of destruction and genocide raises some potential privacy concerns.’

“Brandt also expressed reservations about the company’s new motto. Until yesterday’s news conference, the company’s unofficial slogan had been ‘Don’t be evil.’ The slogan has now been expanded to ‘Don’t be evil, unless it’s necessary for the greater good.'”

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