Next week Dr. Christine Ku will suck all the fluid out of my right eye.
Normally a detached retina is an emergency event. A shadow falls across your vision, surgeons scurry about, and a procedure is done the same day to glue the retina back into place.
But not me. I’m special. My retina is detaching . . . slowly. Very, very slowly. Over a period of years.
That gave me the opportunity to schedule the surgery to put it back. And I’ve cleverly scheduled it for July 2013, at a time when all of your computers will work perfectly and you have no technology projects scheduled and none of you will miss me.
That’s the plan, anyway. Promise you’ll do your part.
Beginning July 9, I will be on reduced availability for several weeks.
I’ll still be working. Send me email. Call me. I’m not deserting you completely.
But I won’t be able to drive for most of July. Since I find face-to-face contact frightening, that’s not all bad but it does mean that I won’t be able to come to your office to set up a new workstation or configure a phone.
For most of July and August, I’ll have to lie on my right side for as much as 18 hours per day to keep a gas bubble in my eye in the right position. I’ll be wearing a patch with a jaunty pirate logo. Possibly decorator colors for formal occasions. Oh, and I’ll be irritable because holding your head on its side for extended periods is a pain in the neck. Literally.
My colleague Mike Cook (firstname.lastname@example.org, (707) 827-1524) will be standing by for emergencies and onsite visits. I’m not going to leave anyone stranded. When you become my client, you trust me to take care of your technology. I’m committed to living up to that promise.
Forgive me if I’m slow to return phone calls and messages, especially for the next three weeks. Hold off on buying a lot of new equipment if you might need my help to set it up. Let’s plan our big time-consuming technology projects for later this summer.
And take care of yourselves! My chronic detached retina turned up in a routine eye exam. It could have been a much more significant and dangerous event if it had not been discovered until it tore completely loose. Get those eye exams and dental checkups and do the pesky things that go along with healthy living so we can continue to play with cool technology for a long time to come.
And my personal hope – let’s do it with our eyes open. Both of them.